


Sergeant Schultz's Love Song

by mvernet



Category: Hogan's Heroes
Genre: Angst, Gen, Lonliness, Married Couple, Sgt.Schultz AU, Songfic, World War II
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-02-27
Updated: 2018-02-27
Packaged: 2019-03-24 15:35:17
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 4,369
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/13814172
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/mvernet/pseuds/mvernet
Summary: Sergeant Schultz has a three day pass and heads home. What is the other part of Hans Schultz’s life like?Inspired by The Monkees Good Times AlbumListen on YoutubeI Know What I Know sung by Mike Nesmithhttps://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Lw0DzYcgB8g





	Sergeant Schultz's Love Song

I know what I know  
And what I know  
Is I know nothing  
Without you

Sergeant Hans Schultz was relaxing on his own parlor sofa, stockinged feet resting on an ottoman, beer stein on one side and his wife of twenty-four years on the other. He absently played with her graying hair, remembering the long silken braids of her youth that were undone only for him.

“Liebschien, the sauerbraten was very good tonight. Wherever did you get the beef?”

“I have my ways. The butcher is horribly afraid of me and greets me always with a false smile and his best roasts.”

Hans chuckled deep in his throat. “What do you have on him?” 

Gretchen poked at his belly making him laugh harder. “How could you say such a thing to me?” She snuggled closer. “I suppose finding him in the sawdust with the baker’s wife could have something to do with it.”

Hans leaned over to his wife’s smiling lips and kissed her gently. He stroked her jawline. “You are still a firecracker, baby.”

Hans could still see his beautiful bride in Gretchen’s soft brown eyes. Even though the slim athletic soldier she married was long gone, he thanked God she still only had eyes for him. She giggled like a young frauline and when Hans heard that sweet sound, he once again sought the deliciousness of her mouth. 

She pulled away with a smile. “Hans, you are so randy tonight!”

“You are so beautiful tonight.” 

“Later, Hansy. You haven’t had your dessert and coffee yet.”

“Just stir my coffee with your little finger,” he took her finger in his big hands and gave it a little kiss, “that is all the sweetness I need.”

“You are incorrigible!”

“I am wanting to make love with my gorgeous wife, can you blame me? Anyway, what do you think I am - a monk? Two months I have not had a pass to come home. A man has needs. Even LeBeau was starting to look good to me.”

Gretchen pushed him away playfully and stood, making a show of smoothing her hair and dress. Hans leaned back and enjoyed his wife’s mature form. “All right. All Right. I will be a good boy and eat my dessert. I may have seconds, since the children are not at home. Where are they tonight?”

“The boys are on a camping trip. The girls are sleeping over at the Mosher’s summer home. I am so happy you were able to get a three day pass. They will be all be home Sunday and I will make a feast. It is a celebration these days when we can all be together.”

Hans watched her walk towards the kitchen, more than willing to serve him and sooth his tired bones with warmth and affection. He did have needs. Needs even more important to him than a wife sharing her willing body with him. At the camp, he needed to have constant vigilance. Acting like a fool who knows nothing when in truth he knew everything.

With Gretchen he could be himself. She was his everything.

 

I know what I see  
And what I see  
Is I see nothing  
Without you

Sitting in the cozy kitchen, Hans savored every forkful of his chocolate kuchen. Gretchen sat resting her head on her work worn hands. She waited to chat until Hans was full and content to sip at his coffee.

“Did the boys get into any mischief recently?”

Hans knew she meant not their children but his other boys at the POW camp.

“When are they ever not up to funny business?” Gretchen nodded knowingly. Hans continued. “Last week we were caught in a bombing raid. One of the live bombs landed right in the camp.”

Gretchen drew in a breath. “Oh, my brave darling! You diffused it of course.”

“I thought Carter would handle it. I must be so careful not to be discovered, liebschien. But poor Carter was buried in a tunnel. I had to watch as that nincompoop Klink and Hogan cut the wires.”

Gretchen took his hand. “How hard for you, to always hide your expertise and act like a bumbling clown. Were any of your boys hurt? They dug Carter out? He was not harmed was he?”

“No one was hurt. Yes, they got Carter out in time. Brave boy. I would not have let the bomb go off.”

“Of course. So Klink discovered the tunnels?”

Hans chuckled. “Do you believe it? Hogan managed to keep it from him.”

Gretchen shook her head. She stood gracefully to refill their coffee cups. “I’m sorry you have to suffer that fool Klink.”

Hans silently asked for only half a cup in the wordless language of married couples. “Klink is not so bad. He is a perfect foil for Hogan. And easy for me to manipulate. Best of all, Kink is not a Nazi.”

Alone I am  
With waiting heart  
Alone I am  
A world apart

Gretchen joined him and sipped thoughtfully at her cup. “You must feel so alone when you are there. I know how you despise Nazis, yet how you love our country.”

Hans lowered his eyes. “I do feel very alone. I miss you and our children desperately. The POWs are brave, good boys. A bunch of jolly jokers most of the time. But when Hogan has them on a mission, I see the fear and determination on their faces. I yearn to comfort them like my own boys and in turn be comforted by them. I see the weight of the world on Hogan’s shoulders. How Newkirk suffers every time London is bombed. The fierce devotion Le Beau has in his heart for his France. The strength of character in Kinch who fights a war for a country where he still fights for his civil rights back home. I see all America in Carter’s blue eyes, mixed and molded into a new breed of man without prejudice.”

Gretchen leaned over and kissed her husband’s full cheek. “Ich liebe dich mein mann.”

Hans stood and brought his wife with him. He pulled her into his strong arms and embraced her. Hans admired as he always did how she melded to him, a perfect fit. He kissed her with a passion formed by enduring the stormy seas and calm waters of a long life together. He took her hand and led her to their bed. Smiling and giggling she left her dishes and cares behind.

I know what I have  
And what I have  
Is I have nothing  
Without you

Hans held his wife close in the afterglow, sated and just as smitten with his buxom fraulein as he was in 1919. The fragrant linen sheets and spotless down comforter wrapped them both in tender warmth. “Gretchen? I have been thinking about after the war.”

Gretchen wiggled in his arms, getting in a better position to see her husband's expressive face. “What were you thinking, darling?”

“I have been thinking of us all going to America. I could reopen my toy shop there.”  
Gretchen cradled his cheek in her hand. “You are worried about the Nazis.”

“No, Hitler will not win this war. After working beside Hogan and his team I know they won’t. I love my Germany and our home. But I do not think I have it in me to take back my factory and make toys where once Nazis had made weapons of such destruction. I worry for the children, for you. I think maybe you should go now. I can tell Hogan the truth. That I have been helping him in more ways than he knows. I am certain he could get you all to safety.”

“You, silly man! Do you think I would leave you to fight alone? I fight my own fight everyday. It is not hard to act like the proud wife of a Sergeant of the Guard. But it is hard to hear the vicious hate propaganda aimed at our children. I will consider sending the children. Helmit is nineteen, now. Gerda is eighteen. Axel sixteen. They could take care of the twins. Helmit is safe at university, but I will not allow him to become a soldier in this war. If it comes to that I will send him and the others to Hogan myself.”

“Alright, baby. I just worry so. I have nothing without you.”

“Hush now. Go to sleep. You are exhausted with stress and worry. You will play with the children tomorrow and feel better.”

I know what I feel  
And what I feel  
Is I feel nothing  
Without you

Early Monday morning, Sergeant Schultz looked in on his sleeping children, kissed his wife goodbye and boarded his train. Hopefully, Kurt or one of the other guards would be waiting to pick him up. He stared out the window of the train his thoughts still at home.

_I feel so numb when I’m not with her. She is truly the love of my life. Others might see her as matronly and coldhearted. It is all an act to protect me. Comical Schultz and his shrew of a wife. They will never know her kindness and acts of heroism. What she suffers to make sure my feelings about Hitler are never known. How she stands in the background at the butchers or the bakers or at social events, making sure she hears what she shouldn’t. Gleaning news of Nazi plans and feeding it to me so I can in turn feed it to Hogan._

Hans took out a cigarette and tapped it absently on his silver case, a twentieth anniversary gift from his beloved. He patted his great coat for a match box and found a full one in his pocket along with a few cellophane wrapped sweets. He smiled at Gretchen’s thoughtful little gifts. He lit his cigarette and took a long satisfying drag. He exhaled through pursed lips, his thought drifted like the gray cloud of his smoke to the conversation he had the night before with his eldest son.

“Helmit, my boy.” Hans ruffled his eldest’s shaggy blond hair. It surprised him that he had to reach up slightly to do it. “Boy! I can not call you that any longer. You are so much the man now. How goes things at university. You are studying hard, Jai?”

Helmit carried their after dinner coffee to the parlor. He placed his father’s coffee next to the overstuffed chair Hans favored and perched on the edge of the sofa. Hans settled in the form fitting cushion of the chair. 

“Of course, Papa.” Helmit adjusted his wire-rimmed glasses and focused his blue eyes on his father’s so like his own. “I am excelling at trigonometry and organic chemistry, but I must admit my mandatory political science class is causing me troubles.”

Hans frowned. He knew his son was brilliant, but Grethen and he had always treated him just the same as his other children making them a home where they felt accepted and safe. Hans bitterly regretted that his home was no longer a safe haven because of the accursed war. “What is wrong, son?”

The other children had started a noisy game of cards in the kitchen. Helmit leaned closer to Hans and lowered his voice.

“The course is ridiculous. The Nazis have re-written the text to teach Hitler’s views only. It reads like science fiction now. I can not stomach studying it. I am tempted to write a term paper about all the inconsistencies and downright lies in the useless book.”

Schultz reached forward and took his boy’s hand as it trembled slightly with subdued rage.

“Listen to me, Helmit. You must do well in that class. I’m sure they are using it to seek out student rebels. I know how hard it is to hide your feelings and still call yourself a man…”

“I do know, Papa. I am not a fool. I have heard you and Mama talk. I have seen how you act around that snivelling weasel Klink. I know the kind of man my father is. The kind of man I want to be.”

Hans was nearly overcome with emotions. To hear those words coming out of his son’s mouth was overwhelming. When had his little boy become a man? He decided it was time to let him be that man.

“I love you so much, Helmit. I am so proud of you I could burst. I want to tell you something and I trust you to keep it to yourself.”

Helmit sat up straight, his father’s praise, filling his heart with gladness. “Yes, Papa.”

“I think you know your mother and I have never supported Hitler and his regime. I remember his rhetoric when he first became a politician. He seemingly supported working class rights, while feeding and growing strong on hatred and greed. But like so many, we thought this comical figure would simply disappear after a few years in the spotlight. I am ashamed that we allowed him to gain the power he has. It has left our family in a precarious situation. Do you understand?”

“Yes Papa. I do. You can not speak out. You must protect your family. Perhaps it is time for me to break from you all. I could denounce you wilh vile words while loving you with all my heart. I could join the underground. I can fight in your place.”

Hans became fearful of the idealism of youth glowing like a blue flame in his son’s eyes. 

“Helmit. No, son. I… I… at the camp. There is… I am working for the underground in my own way. I have contacts… in London. I need you to take care of the family when I am not here, my son.”

Helmit wore a puzzled frown, then understanding hit. “Do you wish us to leave Germany? I have entertained those thoughts for myself. I never thought you and Mama would want to go to America.”

“You must understand, Helmit. I love my Germany. But the Germany I knew is gone. It has died and a piece of it is buried in every unmarked grave that litters the countryside. I want my children to have more than a legacy of shame.”

“I understand, Papa. Thank you for trusting me with the truth. I will do well in school, make them think I have swallowed their superior Aryan race drivel… and I will wait for your orders. I swear I will protect Mama and my brothers and sisters with my life.”

Hans gazed at the man he had raised. He stood and was glad he could still see traces of his beautiful boy in his upturned face. He reached for him and pulled him into his arms, holding him tight unable to speak. “I love you too, Papa. It will be alright.”

 

Alone I am  
Unspoken words  
Alone I am  
Unseen, unheard

Hans sat on a bench near Barracks Two. He was enjoying the last bit of the lunch his wife had packed him for his train ride. Carter sauntered over to him, the thumbs of his gloved hands hooked on his pockets as usual.

“Hiya, Schultzy! Welcome back. Ya have a nice time on your leave?” Carter plopped down beside him and Hans offered him a homemade oatmeal cookie. Carter smiled wide and took the treat. “Thanks!” 

Carter reminded him of his Helmit with his blondish hair and long limbs. But Helmit was serious and studious. Carter was joyful and dopey. Hans felt his heart squeeze painfully at the thought of both boys becoming men during this dreadful war.

“Yummy. Your wife make these? They are goooood.” Carter patted Hans’ tummy playfully. “No wonder you’re such a big guy. Who could resist home cooking, huh? Hey, Schultzy, you look down. Anything wrong at home?”

Hans had to stop himself from telling Carter all about his weekend. He felt so alone. He would not endanger his family by dropping his facade. Carter and the others knew little of his life. He didn’t talk about his children although his fatherly heart ached to speak of the wonders of his sons and daughters. He let them think his wife was a bitter nag, not the beauty she was in his eyes. It was safer that way. Made his family less of a target. He looked Carter over and noticed a bandage partially hidden by his hat.

To deflect attention away from himself he pointed to a bandage on Carter’s head. “What happened to you while I was gone?” Carter shifted uncomfortably. He’d gotten too close to a bomb the night before and had been out cold for hours. “Nothin’ just, aaaaah, horsin’ around with the guys and hit my head on… the stove. I’m fine, but, ya know. The Colonel made Wilson patch me up. You know how Colonel Hogan is. A real worry wart.”

Hans sighed and patted Carter’s leg, thinking of his oldest just a few years younger than this American boy. “You take too many chances. Thinking with your brave heart and not your hard head. If I were Colonel Hogan I would worry, too. Next time you are… horsing around think of how we would all miss you if you were gone.”

Carter cocked his head as if not sure if he heard right. He got unsteadily to his feet. “Thanks, Schultz. I’ll try to remember that.” He gave him a crooked smile and hurried off.

Hans chuckled to himself. He wondered how long it would be before Hogan came out to see what Carter was worried about. Five minutes later Colonel Hogan was sitting by his side.

My heart is my heart  
And it is my heart  
That is hopeless  
Without you

Hogan crossed his arms. His keen eyes looking for signs of distress coming from the Sergeant. “Hi Schultz. You and the missus have a good time?”

“Jai. A three day pass is a pleasure. It is so nice to sleep… in my own bed at home.”

“I can imagine. Ah, anything wrong?”

“Everything is fine.” Hans decided to share a little with Hogan. It might ease his heart. “My wife and I were thinking about what to do after the war.”

Hogan leaned forward. “Schultz, if Hitler is defeated If the camp is liberated. You and your family might want to… get out of Dodge, so to speak.”

“I think we may need to get out of Germany. Maybe even before the liberation.” Hans waited, his heart in his throat. He trusted Hogan just so far and no further. He knew Hogan would risk his life for anyone in this camp. But he doubted it included his German captors.

Hogan hesitated. Obviously mulling over his answer. Hogan turned and looked Hans in the eye. “That could be arranged. Anytime, my friend.”

Hans couldn’t believe his ears. Did Hogan know he was a true sympathizer? Not just a comic character?

“Colonel Hogan. It is not for my safety. My wife, my children. I would stay till the day you are all free again if I could be of help to you.”

Hogan sat up. “You must love her very much. To risk asking me this.”

“With all my heart. Without her I am nothing.”

I love what I love  
And what I love  
Is I love all things  
About you

Hans was on guard duty by the gate marching slowly back and forth. He hummed an old tune he had once danced to with his wife. Gretchen was going to throw a fit. Hans imagined the mother of all rows. Gretchen would refuse to leave. She would hate telling people the lie that she was leaving her husband because he cheated on her while in Paris. She would scream at him and hurl his mother’s dishes at him. Then she would dissolve in tears and say how she could not leave her heart behind her while she took her children to London and then on to America when Hans finally reunited with them after the liberation of the POW camps.

He imagined his Grethen when he had first met her. Wide-eyed and innocent, yet strong and sure of what she wanted. Her beautiful long hair, her curves that drove him mad. Her breasts that teased him when she removed the perfumed silk scarf from around her neck. She was all things to him. Passionate lover, loyal friend and compassionate healer. Hans loved her so much he could send her away. He loved her so much he would take the chance of never seeing her or his children again.

Gretchen would fight him. She would refuse to go. She would threaten to poison him. But finally she would thank him, wish him well. Hold him as he cried. Wipe away his tears and kiss him. But she would never say goodbye. Because they would never really be apart.

Someone alone  
Always dreams of  
The perfect one  
Someone in love

 

Two years later.

There wasn’t a moment that Hans didn’t miss his family. He took comfort in the fact that his wife and children were safe. He was so grateful to his new little family too. Newkirk’s sister had taken the Schultz family in and guarded them as fiercely as she had protected her blue eyed baby brother. Axel and the twins, Johan and Johanna whose names had been Newkirkized to Jack and Jill, adored her and called her Auntie. Carter and Helmit had become pen pals of a sort and devised a code using the Lakota language so that the family could keep their worried Papa updated on all the latest news. And there was plenty. Helmit tried to join the RAF, but Auntie Maude had insisted he continue his education and got him a part time job teaching conversational German to the troops. Gerda was smitten with Newkirk’s cousin, but Papa had insisted that there be no wedding till he met the young man. There had been some tense moments in Barracks Two when Papa Schultz had heard that news. But secretly Hans thought if he was anything like Peter she was indeed a lucky girl.

Hans kept up his, ‘I know nothing’ persona. With his family safe, he got more and more involved in the insane plots and schemes Hogan came up with. London was informed that Schultz was officially an unsung hero and his family was treated with respect. The way was cleared for Hans Schultz and family to emigrate to America after the war.

Finally the day came when London informed Hogan that Stalag Thirteen was to be liberated within the month. Hogan pulled Hans aside.

“The time has come old friend. I want you to leave tomorrow for London. It’s all been arranged.”

Hand was stunned. “B… but… but Colonel Hogan! I can not leave before the liberation! What if something goes wrong. What if the Gestapo tries to take over the camp? Oh, nonononono. I will not leave till you are all safe.”

“Schultz. Hans, listen to me. We’ll be okay. These are our guys coming. You are in more danger than we are. They may not believe that you are part of our team. You are too big of a target for some young trigger happy private thinking he won the war by himself.”

“Oh, Colonel. I can not go! I can not desert the boys.”

“The boys would never forgive themselves if the Schultz family lost their Papa.”

Hans lowered his head and slowly nodded. The thought that he could have his Gretchen in his arms again broke him. “Alright Colonel. I will go. Thank you. I have so much I want to say to you. But I can not find the words in German or English.”

Hogan pulled him into a brief hug. “I’ll miss you, brother.”

“Jai. I will miss you too. We are going to New York. I am opening a toy store there. Is Connecticut close to New York?”

“We’re practically neighbors, Schultzy. I’ll take you and the family to a baseball game sometime.”

“Good. Gretchen will learn to bake you an apple pie.”

I know what I know  
I see what I see  
I love what I love  
It’s you that I love

Hans held on to his son Axel’s hand as the London cabbie zig-zagged his way to the old Victorian town house that the Newkirks and the Schultzs shared. Helmit and Axel had met him at the busy port, looking tall and grown-up in their London duds. They stayed with him through his grueling debriefing at London headquarters. Finally his papers were approved and stamped and he was sent on his way many hours later, along with the sincere thanks of the British government. Helmit and Axel had taken their war weary Papa to a London pub and introduced him to fish and chips and brown beer.

“Ah!” he said to his eldest, “now I know why Newkirk was always complaining about LeBeau’s cooking. These are delicious!”

They finally arrived, Gerda, and the twins, mobbed their long lost Papa on the busy London sidewalk. Maude Newkirk stood smiling down from the steps. Hans wiped his eyes and shook Maude’s hand. “I can not begin to thank you for keeping my family safe.”

“None a that now, Mr. Schultz. My brother ‘as told me a few tall tales about you keepin’ ‘im safe. I think we are even Steven. I ‘ave a stew simmerin’ if you’re ‘ungry but maybe a nice cuppa would be betta after your long journey. There’s good news too. Stalag Thirteen was among those camps liberated today, my Petey and the other boys are comin’ ‘ome!” Hans smiled, but a movement caught his eye. There at the door was his Gretchen. Maude hurried the children inside and gave Gretchen a hug and a tiny push down the stairs. Gretchen walked slowly down the limestone steps towards her husband. 

Hans watched as if in a dream as his love drew near. He opened his arms and the dream walked right in. He held his dream tight and whispered, “I hear nothing, I see nothing, I know nothing, but that I love you.”


End file.
